My old partner, the late
Ed Schultz, was a
serious competitor, but even in the highest-level events, he always had fun at
the table. In addition to his bridge skills, he had a talent for handling
people.
My old partner, the late
Ed Schultz, was a
serious competitor, but even in the highest-level events, he always had fun at
the table. In addition to his bridge skills, he had a talent for handling
people.
On one memorable deal, the declarer was an opponent who had greeted us warmly when we came to her table. Early in the hand, Ed made a brilliant defensive play that caused her to misread the layout and go down in a laydown 4H contract.
She became decidedly less friendly when she realized how he had deceived her. Totally flustered, she spent the rest of the play slapping her cards and glaring at Ed. When the hand was over, she snapped, “How could you do that?”, then proposed several “What if I had held …” possibilities that would have made his play unsuccessful.
Some people would have escalated this into a full argument and a director call, but not Ed. He just gave her a shrug and a big smile and replied, “Well, then, I would have looked pretty silly, wouldn’t I?” She had no reply.
Bridge players are naturally competitive, and the game can bring out the worst in some of them. We all know players who are likable in real life but can be unpleasant, even combative, at the table. If you react to their behavior, your emotions will interfere with your ability to think logically. Here are some ways to minimize these distractions:
Establish rapport. Always greet your opponents at the beginning of the round. Besides being polite, it creates a friendly atmosphere that reduces the chance of tensions developing later.
Disengage. Resist the urge to respond if your opponents try to give you lessons or start an argument. Frustrate them with silence or, if it’s the end of the round, just wish them good luck and leave.
Or take a page from Ed’s playbook and kill them with kindness or humor. It may give you an edge. The woman who went down in 4H wanted an argument, and when Ed refused to give her one, she was so annoyed that she made a mistake on the next board, too.
Don’t be a table cop. If your opponents are bickering, you have every right to ask them to stop, but try to avoid it. They’ll see it as an attempt to exert authority over them, and their anger will now be directed at you instead of each other. They’ll be determined to give you a bad score on the next board, and they may well do it.
Instead, let them vent for a short time, then take your cards out of the next board and make a gentle suggestion – “Your bid, North.” Say it with a smile and don’t mention the disruption. Calling the director should be a last resort.
Develop a higher tolerance level. Don’t take offense if your opponents seem unfriendly. A cool demeanor may be a sign that they’re lost in thought about the previous hand or just uncomfortable with social interactions. Some players are so caught up in the game that they don’t even notice who’s at their table. Their opponents could have been Bill Gates and Julia Roberts, but all they would remember about the round is the contracts they played.
Like all humans, bridge players can be quirky, self-absorbed and sometimes contentious when under pressure. They’re no more difficult than the people we have to deal with in our jobs, church groups, even our families. We find ways to cope with them, and handling bridge players should be no different.
You don’t have to like all of your opponents to
have fun playing bridge. You’ll find it easier if you can adopt an “it takes all
kinds” attitude and enjoy playing against the people you like, tolerate those
you don’t, and be ready to try Ed’s approach when you encounter the occasional
bad actor.
© 2017 Karen Walker